Posts

David February 5, 2021

David has some kind of cancer.  I don't even know.  Like gall bladder, biliary whatever.  He's about to have a biopsy, today, Friday, after being at Dana Farber since Sunday.  What we've learned is that the cancer isn't so much in the liver as it is in the gall bladder.  And what we've learned even without the biopsy is that it's not curable.  Treatable, but not curable.  And the little I see when I'm brave enough to go online is that who really cares because he is going to die soon.  So I guess what I do care is that any treatment gives him some quality of life. I have never felt so sad or so lost or so mad.  And I know this is probably typical.  Just writing it down. Maybe the girls will read it someday.  Maybe it will help me while I wait to get to the place where I'm better about things- that happens supposedly, and I believe it must.  How do you get better though when you know the person who is dying doesn't want to die either.  That's one o

Virus July 13, 2020

July 13, 2020 It has now been 4 months since we left school due to the corona virus, COVID-19.  We taught remotely until the last day of school.  Massachusetts deaths and positive cases have steadily decreased so we are now in Phase 3, which means more things are open, but we are still being strongly advised to stay home mostly, social distance 6 feet when out, and wear a  mask when you can't social distance.  Outside is better than inside.  What have we learned?  We have learned that, mostly- the outside being better than inside where airborne virus particles can stay in the air.  We have learned this is not a respiratory virus, but more vascular- it affects all organs of the body.  Clots are found throughout the body when autopsies are done.  It is still mostly older people who die.  Children still don't seem to be very sick with this, although there are some cases where they have severe swelling of feet and hands, etc.  Something called Cytokenesis can also happen in healt
April 18th Corona Virus It looks like it has been one month since I've written here.  One month ago in Massachusetts we had tested 1743 people.  There were 256 cases and no deaths reported.  Yesterday there were 148744 people tested.  There were 34,402 cases, and now 1,404 people have died.  What a difference a month makes.  The US leads in cases and deaths.  We also lead in incompetency from the top.  But we already knew that.  It's just even more unsettling when there's a pandemic involved. Let me see.  We still are doing remote learning for school.  I have been trying to get up to speed with things like Zoom, Google Meet, Seesaw, etc.  I have been recording some lessons but they aren't being used, and I don't know if they will be.  We continue to have Zoom CPTs.  Teachers are working incredibly hard to have available work for their students.  I have spent what feels like hours on-line trying to find places that will deliver food so we don't have to step

March 17th Corona Virus

March 17th So things change by the day, sometimes by the hour.  Our time off from school is now three weeks, a state mandate.  I went in to school yesterday as teachers were asked to gather one more day to plan for at home activities for students.  We were offered the choice of working remotely, so the only reason I went in was to get my computer and some books to read and study during this break.  People are beginning to say they don't think we'll have school for the rest of the year.  Watch this space.  I'm inclined to agree with them, but there is so little we know at this point.  The experts seem to be strongly communicating the best approach is social distancing, no more crowds, stay home, close down what you can.  Some communities are beginning to shelter in place basically.  My gut is telling me the country should do this, now.  What are we waiting for.  We are watching Italy as they now have to choose what patients will live and so have to let the unchosen die.  T

March 27 Corona Virus

March 27, 2020 Corona Virus Days are passing one into another.  Today is Friday.  A typical day for me has been getting up as late as possible to avoid thinking about things since I know all I'm going to do is to think about things.  I turn on the tv and work on a puzzle, watching MSNBC as look for pieces to fit.  Wren comes down and uses the treadmill.  Willow comes down much later, still with a full brace on her leg.  She settles on the couch next to me, looking at Tik Toks all day while I watch the news.  I don't sit there the whole day, but I keep the TV on. All day long.  It's often muted, but on in case I catch a glimpse of something I might want to see.  Andrew Cuomo, Governor of New York, has a daily press conference.  I never used to like him although I knew little about him.  He just seemed like an entitled tough know it all white guy who happened to be governor because his father was Mario Cuomo.  I have come to have a different opinion in these last few weeks.
March 14th, 2020 So the Corona virus is a thing, officially now.  We have been hearing about it for some weeks, and a few weeks ago it became more real when cases started popping up here in our country.  We just literally went from yes we are going to keep having school to we are not having school Friday, to we are not having school for two weeks.  Major sports leagues have stopped or postponed their activities.  The St. Patrick's Day Parade has been cancelled.  The Marathon has been postponed.  People are social distancing, so they are being encouraged to not go to church, and work from home if possible.  And the president continues to be a useless place to look for information or reassurance or honest answers.  I have stopped going to the gym.  This virus is one that affects older people more than anyone, at least that's what they saying right now.  It also affects people with underlying health conditions.  So it can and does kill old people, but other people, mostly child
March 3 A story my mother told me once.  She grew up in a small town in north central Massachusetts, where everyone knew everyone else.  She was an avid reader and would visit the town library regularly.  One day she came home to tell her mother that the librarian had told her she could not take a book out that she had hoped to read because it wasn't appropriate.  My grandmother, annoyed, sat right down and wrote a note for my mother to take back to the library that let the librarian know my mother was to have access to any book she wished to read at any time.  I have always loved that story- it was hard to imagine my grandmother writing such a note.  She was a small, quiet woman who just didn't seem like someone who would have made such a strong point to another person living in her small town.  She and the librarian must have crossed paths often.  And it's the kind of story that has this kind of life line.  My grandmother wrote that note for my mother.  My mother told